Welcome to my L.G.B.T Book Review blog. Mostly I review books that I love. These include Historical fiction with a hint of folklore and myth and anything else I can get my hands on.
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Sunday, 11 November 2012
THE SHADOW AND I
I wrote this after having a brain wave, and its a piece i'm actually really proud of. I spent a long time on it, and hope you find it as enjoyable as I found writing it. I fell in love with the main character Scott and hope to continue the journey between Scott and Tony as they run from the enemy together.
I found this picture on 'deviantART' and thought it fit perfectly.
THE SHADOW AND I
careful thought and consideration, I have finally come to the conclusion that
in life some people are lucky and some aren’t. I established that I was the
latter when I found myself sprinting down Oxford high street weaving in and out
of crowds with the yells of the men following behind me. I felt like I was in
some half-arsed performance of James Bond.
sat staring at the whitewashed wall, as I waited for someone to come and tell
me what had just happened. My hands were shaking and I balled them into fists
to stop it from showing. A tall man strode into the room and I stared
transfixed; his body was just one wall of muscle. Detective Rodgers’, the
person who had glowered at me all the way back to the police station, and his
partner, Detective Coulson, strode into the room. I saw Detective Rodgers face
deepen into a scowl that was obviously aimed at me.
the hell were you doing there?” he growled.
just stared at him blankly, “Huh?”
for the love of….” He fumed as his partner took over.
tell us what happened Scott?”
began to explain how I had just finished work, later than usual, when I had
seen a woman backed into a corner with three men blocking her way. I went to
yell at them, to tell them to back off. I stopped suddenly, remembering the
blood, and took a deep calming breath to continue. When I looked up, Detective
Rodgers, who lent back on the wall, watched me with piercing blue eyes. I continued
still staring at the Detective. One of the men had shot her without a second
thought, and I had been there, the man with the gun had turned and looked straight
at me. He had cold washed-out brown eyes, and when I turned to run he smirked,
a twitch of his too thin lips trying to form a smile, but it was as though he
had forgotten how. I fled the scene, running for my life through the still
busy, but dark streets of London until Detective Rodgers had grabbed me,
protecting me from the men who were following.
looked up still shaking from the encounter, seeing that Rodgers’ scowl had
deepened looked down again, as images flitted across my mind’s eye.
my head swivelled as I looked at Coulson,’ you understand that you are now
going to have to go into witness protection as you will be targeted by
shook my head. I wasn’t stupid, I knew I wouldn’t go, I had spent too long
making the life I had to throw it away.
the man who Detective Rodgers and I are trying to put behind bars, now wants
you, because you led his men straight to us. We now have solid evidence against
him and for that we are grateful. However, it means he will want to get rid of
you before you can be placed on the witness stand in court.’ I looked at him
and my eyes must have been huge because he patted my shoulder reassuringly.
worry,’ he smiled, ‘you will be safe, I promise.’
shook my head; I didn’t want to go into witness protection. I had watched
enough films to realise what it meant, I would have a whole new identity and
never see my family or friends again. I didn’t want that, I had a great job
with a boss who I respected, and friends who I couldn’t turn my back on.
don’t want to.’ I croaked. I stood and was surprised to find Detective Rodgers’
hand on my shoulder as he glared at me. His eyes weren’t the piercing blue I
had originally thought, but a stormy navy colour, framed by long dark eyelashes
that I knew any woman would die for. He had dark brown hair that was cut short,
and his shoulders were broad and screamed masculinity and strength. I was built
more like a swimmer, lean and muscular, not the solid wall of muscle that stood
are not going anywhere,’ he almost growled. I just stared at him, he really was
beautiful, and I knew I should have noticed sooner, but when running for your
life some things are easily missed. Though I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t stay,
so I jerked out of his hold and turned towards the door. I was halfway down the
corridor, passing other officers who were finishing their nightshift when I
almost collided with Rodgers.
don’t think you understand, if you leave here, Kennedy’s men will kill you.’
won’t live in fear, Detective. I have a job I need to go to in…’ I checked my
watch, it was half five in the morning, ‘three hours, so if you will excuse
hand came down again on my shoulder; I looked up at him, and only saw concern
on his face.
said ‘I understand you don’t want to lose the life you have built, but we
cannot lose a valuable witness,’
heart deflated, I was just a witness, nothing more, I knew that.
wasn’t waiting for an answer, so continued, ‘Scott, wasn’t it?’ I nodded, as he
pressed a piece of paper into my hand, ‘that’s my number, you can go, but call
me if…’ he looked uncomfortable and I almost smiled.
that concern I hear there, Detective?’
eyebrow rose, he smirked and gently pushed me towards the exit.
I left I un-crumbled the piece of paper, and saw his scruffy handwriting that
Rodgers 07783992232,’ I smiled as I made my way towards the tube station.
hours and four coffees later I sat at my computer screen trying to write up the
latest news story. I loved being a journalist, and although I was working long
hours for virtually nothing, I knew how to write, and was slowly making an
impression in the little tabloid I worked for. Being only twenty-one I had
worked hard to get the job over three years ago, and finally felt as though I
was settling in.
saw Jenny walk over, ‘Hey, what happened to you last night? We were going to go
out to Liquid.’
really loved Jenny; she had been there for me since day one. She was deputy
manager of the office; we had been friends since I had walked in for my
interview over three years ago. I admired her; she was tall, beautiful and had
golden hair that hung down in waves around her face. When I had first come to
London, I didn’t know anyone or anything only that I wanted to become a journalist,
and to do that London was where to go. I had quickly made a great group of
friends; I was likable or so Logan had told me. Logan was my best friend, more
like a brother, who had moved to the city a year after I had. We shared our
small studio flat south of the river, and had now lived there for over two
years. It wasn’t much but it was ours.
I said as I realised that I had missed the rest of her sentence.
me where you were last night?’
told her what had happened. It was almost funny to watch her face go from
concerned to horrified, but I didn’t find it amusing, I was still trembling.
‘You could have died!’ She screeched, and the office instantly hushed. A blush
covered my cheeks.
down, it wasn’t that bad.’ I tried to sooth her.
bad? That bad...’
interrupted quickly, ‘Let me make it up to you and tonight we can go and
celebrate my survival,’ I chuckled, but Jenny’s lips were pursed into a thin
line. I smiled at her to try and show her that I was okay, and she thawed, warmth
flooding into her eyes she squeezed my hand gently.
tonight, Scott, you look like your going to pass out from lack of sleep. How
about you go home early, and we can reschedule for tomorrow night instead. You
can even bring Logan and I’ll ring Katie.’ I nodded, going home early sounded
perfect, I could easily finish the column there.
heard the keys rattle in the door as I finished writing the last paragraph on
my page. ‘Logan?’ I called out and recognised his quick grunt in reply. I was
so happy to hear his voice, as I had anxiously been worried that any noise
could have been the men from last night. I smiled into my cup of coffee as he
came into the living room, slumping down on the sofa beside me.
were you last night? I didn’t hear you come in this morning either. You weren’t
at John’s house were you?’ He asked, I shook my head realising how little time
we had spent together lately we needed to catch up. There were so many things I
needed to tell him.
broke up, I didn’t want anything serious.’ I answered, Logan looked at me with
an exasperated expression.
always say that, you’re just afraid to get close to anyone.’
was true but I didn’t want Logan to know this, ‘Apart from you Logan, we’re
close friends right?’
but I’m straight.’
wanted to change the subject as my mind instantly went to Tony Rodgers. I had
been thinking of him all day. ‘How is Sarah? She hasn’t been over for a while.’
face lit up as he thought about his girlfriend, ‘She is great, can’t stop
talking about you though. What is it with you and woman? They just adore you.’
grinned at him, as he went into the kitchen to make his own mug of coffee.
later fought over the remote control Logan won as always. Ending up watching
some football match, I fell asleep easily wandering how I could have ever
thought of giving this life up, becoming someone else who didn’t know his best
friend was Logan Read.
more human when I woke up early the next day, I decided to get both Logan and I
Starbucks Coffee, which had always been our morning-routine, if one of us could
be bothered to get up half an hour early. As I locked the door behind me and
made my way towards the tiny coffee shop that was always packed, I wondered
what Tony Rodgers was doing now? I couldn’t get him out of my head even though
I tried. I wasn’t like that; I didn’t believe gay men could make straight men
fancy them. I believed you where either born gay or not, and Tony Rodgers
screamed straight. I couldn’t understand why I had this desire to call him and
just ask how his day had been. I scowled as I realised how pathetic I sounded.
Waiting in the queue with only my thoughts to keep me company, I wondered what
I would do if the men found me? However the tight knot that formed in the pit
of my stomach told me how dangerous thinking about Kennedy was. So I steered my
thoughts to safer ground to my next newspaper article. As I walked away from
the counter, ideally debating what an appropriate heading would be, I collided
with someone, and spilt vanilla latte all over him.
God I’m so…’ I broke off as I looked up into the eyes of Tony Rodgers. ‘What
are you doing here?’ I asked startled.
could ask you the same thing?’
live two streets away.’
know that,’ he scowled, ‘but why are you out of your house on your own? You
I interrupted, ‘I told you that I wasn’t going to be afraid. Now I have to go
I’ve got work.’ As I went to stroll past him, he put a hand on my shoulder and
I trembled at his touch.
you cold?’ his voice was close to my ear. I shook my head but I couldn’t pull
out of his grasp, his eyes held me captivated.
me take you to breakfast.’ I tried to tell him no, that I was going back to see
Logan, but I couldn’t make myself do it.
I said quietly.
hands where placed on my shoulders as he steered me out of the crowded coffee
shop. I felt safe with Tony, and the warmth of his hands and the closeness of
his body made me long for more.
bought me pancakes at his favourite breakfast diner. We talked and I realised
how at ease we were with one another. He told me about how he had hitchhiked
around Europe when he was my age. I asked how old he was, he said twenty-eight,
he was the youngest Detective in England. I asked how, he told me that his
father had been high up in Scotland Yard police force for over twenty years,
and he had taught him the tricks of the trade since he was small. Tony asked me
questions, but I was fascinated with his life and wanted to know more. I asked
about his family and learnt he was one of four brothers the second youngest.
But as I always did when I felt as though I was getting too close to someone, I
ran, paying for my share of the meal though he protested, hoping I never saw
Tony Rodgers again, as I may find myself in too deep.
evening Logan, Jenny, Katie, Sarah and I were at the nightclub down the road. I
had drunk a lot and found everything hilarious, as I danced with Jenny,
everyone watched. I was a good dancer and made my partner feel comfortable as
they could move easily with me. Jenny was laughing, as I let my body move with
the beat of the music, a huge smile was spread across my face, I felt alive. I
wasn’t sacred anymore; the people I loved surrounded me. Logan beamed, and I
was one of the few people who he let see his real smile, the smile that reached
his eyes and made him look stunning, beautiful even. I was so lost in the beat
that I didn’t realise Jenny had been replaced with a guy. He was tall and
classically good-looking with big blue eyes and blond hair. A week ago I would
have never said no, but as he moved forwards I stopped dancing, moving back. He
tried again, but all I could see was how different he was to Tony. I realised
that I didn’t want to run away from that man, I wanted to bury myself into his
life and see how far he could take me.
the man in the nightclub put he hands on my shoulder I nearly growled, instead
I told him to ‘get off.’ He took a hasty step back and suddenly I didn’t feel
like dancing anymore, I wanted to go home and watch a sad movie. With that in
mind I told Logan where I was going. He looked upset but Sarah was there to distract
him and I was thankful. I wasn’t ready to tell Logan about Tony just yet, so I
slipped out of the nightclub pulling on my jacket, as there was a light drizzle
covering the street.
I made my way back to our flat I heard the sound of screeching tires, and my
blood ran cold. I knew it was them, Kennedy’s men, they had found me, and as
the doors of the van slid open I ran. Adrenalin is a powerful thing, it can
make the average man feel and act powerful, so as I veered down the street
weaving through allies and up over fences, I thought I couldn’t be stopped. I
grabbed for my phone in my jacket pocket and rang the first number that came to
the now familiar voice said through the phone.
they found me.’ I panted, as I hid behind a black bin in the darkness of an
Is that you?’
they have guns and I have no idea how long I can stay hidden for.’
be there in five minuets.’
went to hang up when he said, ‘Please don’t do anything stupid, and be alive when
I come to get you.’
could hear the genuine concern through the phone and my heart fluttered in my
me Tony. Don’t fail me Scott.’
instinctively, dropping the phone in my panic, I ran feeling rather than hearing
the sound of the gun. It sounded like a baseball bat being hit against a
pillow, hard. I stopped suddenly as I came to a busy road; I heard the yells of
the men behind and turned to look forward at the oncoming traffic. I viewed
both situations and would have laughed if my heart was not hamming hard in my
chest feeling as though it was going to come out of my mouth. The men came
nearer, I felt the bullets getting closer to hitting their target. I looked
back at the road and ran weaving in and out of cars. The sound of tires
skidding trying to stop on wet tarmac filled my ears. I grinned, triumphant, as
I reached the embankment on the other side when a car slid next to me, and the
door opened violently.
in now,’ I didn’t argue with Tony, as I saw the gunmen trying to cross the
road. I slammed the door and Tony sped away, leaving the outcome of the men up
to fate. I realised then that my hands were shaking again and I held them
you hurt?’ Tony asked anxiously. I shook my head and suddenly a wave of fatigue
hit and I fought hard, as tears welled into my eyes.
should have been more careful, you told me to be afraid but I didn’t listen. I
don’t want to go into witness protection, but I don’t want to die either.’ I
knew I was babbling, and so was surprised when Tony’s hand was placed on my
knee as he tried to sooth me.
understand why you wouldn’t go; it’s hard to leave the people who are most
important to you. I admire you Scott, you fight for the people you love.’ The
sound of his voice calmed my hamming heart and I lay my head back on the
headrest, my eyelids feeling heavy.
woke suddenly as the car jolted to a stop. ‘I’m so sorry I fell asleep.’
chuckled next to me, his eyes soft. ‘Its okay, I do that all the time. Are you
but where are we?’ I asked looking out of the window at a manor house.
right, witness protection cannot help you, but I can. You can stay with me
until everything is sorted.’ I stared at him not sure whether to be horrified
or delighted. I went for horrified, as it was easier to explain.
my work, my friends?’ He just smiled at me.
on, I’ll get pancakes for you again.’ And with that he swung out of the car,
leaving me staring at his back.